Christian Dating Advice: Is Kissing Before Exclusive Relationships Advised?

keith | Posted on April 8, 2024 |

Key Takeaways

In Christian dating, physical affection should honor God and reflect the level of commitment in the relationship.
Establishing clear boundaries early on helps maintain purity and respect between partners.
Biblical principles suggest avoiding actions that could lead to sexual temptation, including certain forms of kissing.
Open communication about comfort levels and convictions is essential in a Christian dating relationship.
There are alternative ways to express affection that do not involve kissing and can strengthen the emotional connection.

Finding the Balance: Kissing in Christian Dating

When it comes to physical affection in a relationship, it’s essential to find a balance that aligns with your faith and the level of commitment between you and your partner. For Christians, this often means navigating a path that honors God while also expressing care and affection for your significant other. The question of whether to kiss before becoming exclusive is one that requires thoughtful consideration and a clear understanding of your own values and boundaries.

The Role of Physical Affection in Relationships

Physical affection, when done with pure intentions, can be a wonderful way to express love and care in a relationship. It’s a way to let your partner know that you appreciate and value them. However, the goal of physical touch should always be to build and strengthen the relationship without compromising your commitment to purity.

First and foremost, every expression of love should match the level of commitment in your relationship. If you haven’t made your relationship official yet, you should think about whether certain types of physical affection, such as kissing, are too soon. They could create emotional ties that are hard to manage if the relationship doesn’t evolve into something more serious.

Establishing Physical Boundaries

So, it’s important to establish physical boundaries early in your relationship. These discussions may be uncomfortable, but they’re essential for creating a basis of trust and respect. Here are some steps to help you navigate this process:

Initiate the discussion early on, preferably at the start of your relationship.
Be candid about your comfort zones and beliefs concerning physical intimacy.
Explain the logic behind your limits, making sure they are comprehended and adhered to.
Agree to reevaluate the discussion as your relationship evolves and progresses.

By setting these limits, you are safeguarding your heart, respecting your partner, and honoring God.

Understanding Physical Intimacy: A Christian Perspective

Knowing what the Bible says about physical intimacy is crucial when setting your own limits. The Bible doesn’t give a detailed guide to dating, but it does provide principles that can help you make decisions.

Interpreting Biblical Passages About Physical Intimacy

Scripture encourages followers to avoid sexual immorality and to live a life that is pleasing to God. Although it does not specifically mention kissing, it does caution against any actions that could lead to sexual temptation. This is the reason why many Christians opt to wait until they are married to engage in more intimate forms of physical affection, such as kissing.

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable,” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 NIV).

Given that kissing can stir up emotions and desires that can be hard to control, it’s worth thinking about whether it’s a good idea before marriage, particularly if it might lead to more physical intimacy.

Valuing Honor and Respect in Christian Dating

Christian dating is all about honoring and respecting your partner and God in every part of your relationship. This extends to physical touch. If you’re wondering if kissing has a place in your relationship, consider if it’s in line with these values:

Is it respectful of God and does it show a clean heart?
Does it respect your partner’s limits and beliefs?
Does it protect the sacredness of your (and your partner’s) future marriage?

Keep in mind, the purpose of a Christian relationship is not only to enjoy one another’s presence but to support each other in faith and walk together towards a future that brings glory to God.

From the Heart: Personal Thoughts on Kissing

Let’s take a minute to think about kissing in relationships from a personal point of view. Kissing can be a gentle expression of love, but it’s also a move toward a greater closeness that requires maturity and responsibility. For some, a kiss is a sign of exclusivity and a deepening emotional connection. It’s important to consider not only your own feelings but also the signal you’re giving to your partner.

Respect for Your Partner’s Limits

Respect for each other’s limits is a crucial aspect of Christian dating. If one person is comfortable with kissing and the other is not, it’s crucial to have an open discussion. Keep in mind that limits are not just about following rules; they’re about protecting hearts and minds. They are a mutual agreement to respect each other and God through your actions.

Make sure to be gentle and considerate when you talk about this. Always put your partner’s spiritual health first before your physical wants. Keep in mind that real love is when you want the best for the other person, even if it means you have to delay some kinds of affection.

Feelings vs. Looks

While physical attraction is a normal part of any romantic relationship, it should not be the basis. The emotional bond that is formed through shared beliefs, discussions, and experiences is what will keep your relationship going over time. Kissing can either strengthen this bond or, if not used with care, can cloud your judgment and cause early emotional involvement.

So, think about building your emotional bond without the additional complication of physical closeness. This strategy will assist you in determining the course of the relationship with more precision and intention.

Helpful Tips for Christian Couples

If you are a Christian couple and are unsure about how to handle physical affection, here are some useful tips to keep in mind:

Setting Boundaries at the Beginning of the Relationship

It’s a good idea to talk about physical boundaries early on. Be open and honest during this conversation, and make sure both you and your partner feel listened to. This isn’t just about setting rules, but also about understanding each other’s beliefs and values.

Make sure to express your comfort levels and your reasons behind them. If you’re uncertain, take some time to pray and ask for advice from trusted mentors or friends. Don’t forget, it’s perfectly fine to change your boundaries as your relationship progresses, as long as both parties are in agreement and feel respected.

How to Express Love Without Kissing

There are numerous ways to show love that don’t require kissing. Here are some alternatives:

Hand holding, a simple yet profound way to stay connected.
Thoughtful notes or letters expressing your feelings and commitment.
Quality time spent together, engaging in activities that build your friendship.
Praying together, strengthening your spiritual bond and bringing you closer in a unique way.
Compliments and verbal affirmations that build up your partner’s self-esteem and sense of security in the relationship.

These expressions of affection can be deeply meaningful and help lay a solid foundation for your relationship.

FAQ

With the ever-changing dating scene, it’s not unusual to have questions about how to approach relationships in a way that aligns with your Christian beliefs. Here are some commonly asked questions and their answers to help guide you:

How do I deal with my longing for physical closeness while dating?

Dealing with the longing for physical closeness in a dating relationship begins with admitting that these emotions are natural but must be handled responsibly. Engage in activities that allow you to bond with your partner on an emotional and spiritual level, rather than just a physical one. Always maintain open communication with your partner and seek guidance through prayer and scripture.

Is kissing before marriage forbidden in the Bible?

Although the Bible doesn’t directly address kissing before marriage, it does urge followers to avoid sexual immorality and to lead pure lives. As such, it’s important to think about the motives behind kissing and whether it might result in behaviours that the Bible warns against.

What is the best way to establish physical boundaries with my significant other?

In order to establish physical boundaries, begin by asking God for wisdom and discernment. Have a conversation about your beliefs with your significant other, and hear their perspective. Set boundaries that both honor God and keep you both safe from temptation. Be prepared to keep each other responsible and make changes if necessary.

What should I do if my partner and I don’t agree on kissing?

If you and your partner don’t see eye to eye on the issue of kissing, it’s crucial to handle the situation with empathy and respect. Have a sincere conversation about why you both feel the way you do. If a compromise is needed, it might be best to lean towards the more conservative viewpoint to keep the relationship healthy.

Is kissing a sin in a Christian relationship?

Kissing is not a sin in itself, but it can lead to sin if it stirs up lust and desires that cannot be righteously fulfilled outside of marriage. Each couple should prayerfully consider their actions and motivations, aiming to honor God in everything they do.

Common Questions

Christian dating and physical boundaries often bring up a lot of questions. It’s essential to find answers that are based on faith and match your personal beliefs. Here are some frequent questions and considerate responses to think about:

How can I cope with the desire for physical intimacy when dating?

It’s not unusual to have a desire for physical intimacy when dating, but it’s crucial to handle these feelings in a way that is consistent with your beliefs. Concentrate on establishing a strong emotional and spiritual bond with your partner. Talk about your feelings and desires openly, and think about participating in activities that promote closeness without physical intimacy, such as deep discussions, shared interests, and joint service projects. Prayer and scripture study can also provide guidance and strength to maintain purity in your relationship.

Does the Bible say anything about kissing before marriage?

The Bible does not specifically mention kissing before marriage. However, it does tell us to live a life of purity and to run from sexual immorality. This means being careful about actions that could lead to temptation or compromise your commitment to God. When thinking about kissing in your relationship, think about why you want to do it and what the consequences might be. Then make a decision that respects both your faith and your relationship.

What are some good physical boundaries to set with my partner?

Good physical boundaries start with you and your partner praying about what is honoring to God in your relationship. Talk openly and honestly about your beliefs, and listen to your partner’s beliefs. Set boundaries that you both are comfortable with and that show a commitment to staying pure. Be ready to keep each other accountable and to change boundaries as the relationship changes.

Getting advice from trusted mentors, friends, or counselors can also be beneficial. They can provide wisdom and support. Remember, the purpose of setting boundaries is not to make a list of rules. Instead, it’s to create a relationship that glorifies God and helps both partners grow in faith.

What if my partner and I don’t agree about kissing?

If you and your partner don’t see eye-to-eye about kissing, it’s crucial to approach the subject with understanding and respect for each other’s beliefs. Have a calm, loving conversation where you both share your thoughts and feelings. In these situations, it’s usually better to play it safe and go with the more conservative view. This respects your partner’s beliefs and also keeps your conscience clear before God. For further insight, you might find this article on what the Bible says about kissing before marriage helpful.

Is kissing seen as a sin in a Christian relationship?

There is no specific labeling of kissing as a sin in the Bible. But, the context and intent of the kiss are what matter. If kissing leads to thoughts or actions of lust, it can become a stumbling block in your walk with God. Each couple must consider their actions prayerfully, making sure they are in line with a lifestyle of holiness and purity. It’s always a good idea to seek God’s guidance and to put your spiritual health before physical desires.

In summary, as you traverse the path of Christian dating, keep in mind that your journey is distinct, and the choices you make should be a reflection of your personal relationship with God. By establishing clear boundaries, engaging in open communication, and remaining steadfast in your beliefs, you can cultivate a relationship that glorifies God and sets a solid groundwork for your future as a couple.